HOW TO SET SEXUAL BOUNDARIES (PART 1)
Sexual immorality is on the increase all over the world. Fornication is fast becoming the norm and unfortunately men of God are also joining the club. Married women are not left out, many are having secret lovers, married men are dating girls young enough to be their daughter and single ladies and guys in committed relationship are having emotional affairs. Some fell into unplanned relationship with opposite sex while many are dating more than two at the same time yet we all claim to be the child of the Most High. These have become the order of the day.
The rate at which immorality is increasing is alarming! It is spreading fast into every nook and cranny and children are also being initiated into the club. It’s no news that 4, 5 years old kids now have sex with each other. I have heard and seen little children doing all sort of non sense. Our teenagers are expert in sex. Infact the church leaders are sometimes reluctant to leave the young people to camp on their own because of the unforeseen things.
To say the truth staying sexually pure these days is becoming a Herculean task and one of the reasons Christians fall flat into illicit sex is over confidence. The belief that you can be free around the opposite sex and nothing would happen. This is a deceit from the pit of hell. Let call a spade a spade, the more closer you are to an opposite sex, the more the interest will build. We all have feelings. We are living and not non-living things. Hope you know angels had feelings too (Genesis 5).
As you journey through this world and as you walk into spiritual maturity a lot will happen. And if care is not taken your spiritual growth will be marred by this. One of the ways you can actually help yourself to stay sexually pure whether married or single these end time is to set strict, proper boundaries. Brother, if you are too careless around the opposite sex, you will fall flat on your face before you even know it oo. That is the truth.. The earlier you believe this and work on it, the better. You can’t be careless around the opposite sex and hope to stay sexually pure, set proper boundaries!
There are some people who can’t be your friends, raise the standard. Anybody can call you names, they might say you are “holier than thou”, they will tagged you to be over religious that’s their headache, you have your destiny to protect.
- Monitor your chats: I have come to understand that 80% of ‘unplanned sexual relationship found it’s root deep in social media. Because of social media nature of privacy and flexibility, people tends to express themselves over the board more than what they can do face to face. As a matter of fact, I scale my chat with opposite sex if its’ over board. I do ask myself can I relate and talk freely with her like this face to face. Don’t allow anybody sends you flirty messages, no matter how innocent it sounds, warn them and if they refuse to stop, block them. But the trouble is that our flesh enjoys the attention and sweet words. That is why you will see young people especially ladies glued to their phone. As a matter of fact, we know ourselves that this conversation is out of line but we don’t stop and before you know it, you have developed lust in your heart towards the person. Just a single innocent physical visit is what is needed for the feelings to explode. You need to monitor it. Screen your chat list. Pick out those who are out to lure you into sexual relationship and block them off. Take notice of people with unnecessary compliments. Take notice of those you enjoyed chatting with, ask yourself about the motive of this closeness.
- Limit the hugs and touches. Somebody says if your hugging anointing is only for me, I want none of it. As funny as it sound yet it’s really helpful. Unnecessary hugs and touches sends and build up sexual signal in the heart unknowing. It’s not everybody you hug. I know you are free person but must you hug everybody? I know you are free with everyone around you. You love keeping friends but must you careless touch and hold the opposite sex in an uncomfortable manner. Even if its innocent touches to you, do you know what’s in the persons mind. You might just successfully build lustful desires towards you in the person’s heart. The more you give your ‘innocent’ hug and touches, the more you are setting the person on fire towards you. To you, it’s no big deal but to the person is more than big deal. Every sexual act has a starting point. You better stop hugging and touching anyone around you careless but you regret doing so. Keep your hands by your side.
- Be careful of pet names: Majority of people fell into illicit sexual relationship from this. They never planned it but they got carried away because the guy/lady sounds loving and caring even more than their spouse. As a matter of fact don’t call anybody pets name that can arouse what you are not ready for except your close family members and same sex friends. It doesn’t make any sense. Pet names turn the opposite on, if you don’t know that, know it right now. It makes them comfortable with you and drive an interest more. Why calling every guy/lady on your chat my love, my sweetheart, honey when you don’t plan to even settle down with any of them. Abi, you want to build a polygamous family ni. When I was growing up, I noticed those pet names where come between lovers, spouse and family member. You will hardly hear our parents refer to anyone in such a manner, no matter how close they maybe. But now adays every tom and harry is called love. Be discipline.
TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2
This article majors on the physical boundaries we can put in place but I highly recommend you read DEALING WITH HIDDEN SIN to get insight on spiritual aspect of dealing with sexual sins. click here to read the article DEALING WITH SEXUAL SIN
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Original document by Anonymous
Edited by Oladimeji Olayinka Joseph