Relationship can be very exciting, thrilling and very fun-filled…
When a guy falls in love,he feels like he has just entered into a new world of fulfillment and the lady…she can almost touch the butterflies right on her inside..her feeling of being loved and cherished seems unexplainable… Nothing else would matter other than the feelings you share…
But what happens when;
- The person you’ve always loved walks away?,
- The person you’ve always committed your time and feelings to decides to thrash it?
- When plans,hopes,dreams of being together gradually fades away…?
Yes!!!…You loved him/her…no doubt about that but he/she just decided to walk out on the dreams and aspirations of having a lifetime together.
“To have a HEARTBREAK is to have dashed hope and expectation on the success of a relationship/marriage…”
Three major causes of heartbreak in relationship/marriage
- Unfaithfulness :
Verbal unfaithfulness e.g untruthfulness,less commitment and accountability in words, insincerity, being cunning with words etc.
Sexual unfaithfulness e.g infidelity, fornication or flirting around etc.
- Ineffective communication:Wrong approach to handling issues arising, Nagging or untimely discussion of sensitive issues etc.
- Pilled up hurts: Consistent feeling of incompetence, continuous ego crush through words or actions etc.
Degree of Heartbreaks can be relative depending on the degree of commitment sown into the relationship,the love shared between the couple and the temperament of the couple involved…Hence, the aftermath of a heart break in marriage can’t be compared to heartbreak experienced in courtship…
Some tips found to be helpful in handling heartbreak;
#Come to the reality of it.
#Identify the problem (what went wrong?) and learn from it.
#Spend time with friends that will help you heal and not pressurize.
#Avoid brooding over the past..
#Spend time on self development…get busy!…get a skill.
#Get on your knees…pray!!! (1tim. 2:1, 1thes 5:17)
#Study the scriptures to know more on Love and the God of love (2tim. 2:15, Josh 1:8)
#Get an accessible mentor that would be readily available to hear you share your burdens.
#Get godly friends to surroud you… (prov 27:17).
What to do if heartbroken in marriage:
*Accept that “the deed has been done”
*Decide not to “walk away”-No divorce.
*Resolve to “clean his/her mess
*Be determined to have an Effective Communication…be patient enough to hear the defaulter speak.
*Fight the battle together in prayers and help each other stand again..(col. 3:14).
*Forgive totally…take no revenge action (col. 3:13, 1thes. 5:15)
Lastly, as you reminisce on moments of staring into each other’s eyes in the corners of the room…moments of holding hands on the street; moments of intimate talks…imaginations of vacations together, raising children together etc… DON’T hold back the tears…crying in itself brings about healing…it proves you’re comprehending the reality and finally letting go…tell God how hurt you are and ask Him to put a smile on your face again…ask Him to bring someone truely deserving you your way.
Don’t loose heart…there are yet better days ahead…keep believing! Ps. 27:13
You’re wonderfully made…
You’re better than your past…
And your dreams will still become a reality…
Only God is certain of your future…
And He still says His thoughts towards you are for good…
No man or woman can say No when your God is still saying YES!
Be glad and Rejoice…Joel 2:21
God loves you!
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©OGUNWUSI MAYOWA SAMUEL