THE PERFECT LOVE ATMOSPHERE
People go into relationships hoping it culminates into marriage; everyone expects their union with their spouse would give peace, satisfaction, joy, progress and ultimately bring fulfillment in life.
All these expectations and desires materializes only when we have learn to build the right atmosphere. However, It takes Wisdom to continuously have a blissful atmosphere in marriage. (Prov. 3:13-20, Prov 4:7-9.)
The atmosphere of a relationship/marriage is a function of whom or what you obey and how ready you are to incline your heart to wisdom. Your union will withstand the test and pressures life will bring only when there’s continuous application of wisdom.
No man can lead his home without being governed by wisdom likewise a woman will never be able to build her home without applying the wisdom of God on a daily basis…This kind of wisdom is known as the Spirit of excellence; the very Spirit of God.
There are four major factors that hinder the PERFECT ATMOSPHERE in a relationship or marriage.
1. COMMUNICATION: We all have feelings but not all persons know how to effectively communicate their feelings to the other party. (Prov16:13,16:24…)
“Don’t you have a brain? How on earth would you think picking those grains of rice would be faster than sweeping it altogether” …On hearing those words from Shola her husband, Lade immediately stood up, stared at him with a frown for seconds after which she walked away without saying a word…seconds ran into minutes,minutes into hours and hours into days…Lade kept brooding on how insulting it was for Shola to have insinuated that she was a “fool”…there was stillness and strife in the home…she had thought in her heart that Shola definitely neither honor nor respect her feelings to have spoken to her that way…while yet unknown to Shola that his failing marriage was due to the way he had spoken to his wife disrespectfully…
Effective communication is key in every home that desires a peaceful atmosphere, when both parties build a good communication skill, a good marital atmosphere would be inevitable.
2.) SEX : In marriage, Sex is a major issue that causes a lot of strife which ought not to be so…
Most couple demand for sex while capitalizing on what the scriptures says in 1corin. 7:5 (Do not deprive one another…) Yes! Sex is your marital right, however there is a way to have sex. You are expected to build up loving emotions before initiating the act of sex: this can be considered as being romantic or being affectionate.
Before you demand for sex, also remember what the scripture says in verse 3 of the same book and chapter… “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” This means you ought to be romantic and affectionate before asking for sex.
A good sexual life creates a lovely marital atmosphere.
3.) FINANCE: The expression of love is often hindered when there’s lack of money…financial instability has wrecked a lot of homes.
Why is money a big source of problem to married people who have said they are committed to one another?
It’s simply because most commitments require money for their expressions!!!
Secondly, different backgrounds have made spouses have different views about money. Some come from a background that encourages people to save, some from an indifferent background while some are also from a squandering and less prudent background. In a relationship where you have different opinions about your expenditures, you need to apply wisdom in discussing and balancing yourselves.
It is not how much money you have or don’t have that matters, it is rather your attitude to money that matters.
When you get married to someone, you are united together into one. Hence, it’s unwise to allow money to determine the atmosphere of your home.
4.) PRIDE AND EGO: Pride goes before a fall…you can be sure your marriage will fail if you let pride in. Most people aren’t proud but rather very egocentric, being totally driven by one’s ego can be very detrimental to the happiness within the home. Most men don’t listen to their wife…they believe they are always right and no woman should ever be allowed to tell them what to do, this ought not to be so…two is always better than one and there’s great wisdom in listening to one’s wife, She’s your helpmeet and partner who’s opinion should be considered, you must learn to love and treat her tenderly.
Also on the other hand, some women are puffed up with pride especially against their husband…perhaps because she earns better.
No matter what a married woman becomes, her beauty lies in her submission, and her true praise remains on the lips of her husband.(Prov. 31:28)
Upholding the banner of love within the home should be your priority as couples…your children would watch and learn, they would develop a mindset about love by the experiences at home.
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Prayer is “sweet” when you do it the right way.
©Ogunwusi Mayowa Samuel